Snow Jokes
by TateThePowerpuffFan
Summary: After Buttercup and Boomer bring home a speaker set, it is revealed that someone has stashed a giant bag of cocaine inside! Fearing that the mob may be after them, our favorite superheroes/ex-villains conjure up plans in an attempt to make right of the situation. Of course, when drugs are involved, it's never smooth going. Based partially on an episode of "It's Always Sunny."
1. Snuffwoofers

**Disclaimer by Boomer: The author doesn't own us, the Powerpuff Girls, or anything else mentioned in this story that you've heard of. That's it... Okay, bye.**

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**Snow Jokes**

**11:20 AM**

**On a Tuesday**

**Townsville, CA**

**Chapter 1: Snuffwoofers**

**Bubbles' POV**

"What a beautiful day to be inside watching what's going on outside on a TV screen," Butch chuckled. He had made himself comfortable on my favorite bean bag chair and had gone into "news mode."

"Why is it that we can't just go out and actually see what's going on?" Blossom asked, confused. She had sprawled out across the floor, reading a teen magazine. "Huh. James Franco is coming to town in a few days for vacation. Maybe we should go and try to meet him! That would be pretty sweet!"

"That sounds fun, honey, but I really don't wanna think about much of anything, right now. I'm in "lazy mode." Man, Brick has been really pathetic, recently. Well, now that I think about it, teenagers are supposed to be sleazy and pathetic during the summer. After more uninterrupted silence, I finally made an attempt to break it, for the quiet was getting too far out of hand. Nothing but button clicks and page flips.

"The weather sure is beautiful." Silence. "It's very sunny outside."

"Bubbles, it's always sunny in Townsville. I thought you knew that," Blossom told me, eyebrow raised. Suddenly, Buttercup kicked the door open, and she walked in with Boomer. Both were working together to carry in a giant speaker set.

"Check this out, guys! We found it in an alleyway! Free speakers!" Buttercup was ecstatic. She and Boomer rested it upright on the floor, next to the TV.

"Free speakers?"

"Yeah! They were just inconspicuously sitting down near the docks, so we found them, and brought them back here!" Boomer excitedly explained. He was practically bouncing a hole in the floor. "What should we hook it up to?"

"Well, gosh Boomer, I've been thinking about what we would hook up to a free, back alley speaker set all day," Blossom sarcastically commented, rolling her eyes as she continued skimming pages.

"You have? Gimme some ideas!"

"Wow. I was kidding."

"Why can't we plug it into the TV, right here?" Butch gestured. "That way, we could still hear our daily dosage of boob tube over any arguing that might erupt."

"He does have a point," I nodded and shrugged.

"We could reconfigure it to our phone docks so that we could play music super loudly," Buttercup sputtered.

"Professor would be all over us if that were the case. **_Turn it down, girls! I'm very busy and gerganferganmuerganblablablah!_**" Blossom did her half-assed spittle-drenched impression of the Professor, which made us all bust out laughing. You couldn't take anything seriously for quite some time after hearing it. Obviously he was nothing like that, but it's the thought that gets to you.

"Oh well. I'm sure we'll be able to make the best use possible out of it, no matter what we set it up to. I just can't wait to unleash its full capability!" Boomer exhaled with delight. He then lightly smacked the machine on the back, causing the front with the subwoofers to lean forward and completely detach from the speaker. A bag full of white powder which had been packaged lightly in duct tape, rested on the other side of the section that had collapsed. Boomer was pissed, no... he was **_enraged_**. "**_I broke it!_** Mother**_fucker_**, I knew there had to be **_something_** wrong with it!" The rest of us stared at the bag as he started angrily bounding around the living room.

"Is that..? N-No, it couldn't be." Buttercup stammered, slowly descending into a panic.

"Now now, maybe it's powdery snow from a kid's toy chest... or maybe it's white sand, or even powdered sugar..." I began throwing out alternate suggestions.

"Bubbles, that's obviously a bag of coke," Brick broke.

"Do you suppose someone's expecting it?" Butch nervously chimed between clenched teeth.

"Gee, actually I think that perhaps someone would just leave a giant bag of illegal drugs in an alleyway, concealed within an everyday household item, because it just looks so enticing." Blossom started up again.

"Blossom, this isn't the time or place for your sarcasm, okay? We're already pretty frightened over this. There's no need for your crap!" I scowled.

"Well, whaddya suppose we do with it?" Buttercup asked, breathing heavily.

"Yeah, maybe it's not just some shady deal. I mean, that's a whopping bag. Perhaps it was being exchanged between organizations."

"That makes sense," Brick agreed with me, "It could be the Mafia or Yakuza or some high-ranking politician of some sort, like the Mayor!"

"Brick, the Mayor doesn't do drugs. Sure, he's not the brightest lamp in the store, but he's not on anything. We can tell."

"Well then, it's gotta be the Mafia! Let's go whack them before they whack us!"

"We can't. Mafia in Townsville have access to an absurd amount of Antidote-X, and they are **_always_** armed in the stuff."

"How does the Mafia have Antidote-X?"

"How do you think? Illegal trades and smuggling operations, primarily from Tijuana."

"Well, we're gonna have to develop a new approach... but how?" Butch asked. Just at that moment, Boomer stopped bouncing around the house and peeked over my shoulder, looking at the cocaine.

"Are those drugs?" He asked. Buttercup face-palmed.

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**_And this story is on! Please tell me your thoughts on this so far in the reviews section, and be sure to vote in the poll that is on my profile page. It'll only be open for a few more days! Enjoy!_**


	2. Snow On Tha' Ruff

**Chapter 2: Snow On Tha' Ruff**

**Boomer's POV**

Well, there we were, standing in the living room with a fat sack of one of the most illegal drugs on the market. Do you wanna know the worst part of it? This means that those speakers that Buttercup and I snatched don't actually work! They were just decoys! I was so disappointed in whoever it was that would come up with such a cruel misuse for a perfectly good product of audio technology!

"Well, this is a big problem," I muttered, taking a seat. "Here we are with thousands of dollars worth of cocaine that we're stuck with, when we could've just pretended that there was nothing in the speakers! We could be here listening to some good stuff blasting all throughout the neighborhood, but **_nooooo_**, we gotta find the stash of drugs that was supposed to be **_hidden away!_**" I pouted and slumped.

"Yeah, Boomer. We're all under a lot of pressure, especially when sitting on a giant pile of drugs," Brick reluctantly replied.

"Yep. So, what do you suppose we do to solve this?"

"Well for starters, you could get your ass up **_off_** the pile of drugs!"

"No, I meant for dealing with the gangsters."

"Exactly, stupid! You're **_sitting_** **_on_** the cocaine! Get up before you bust it open!" I had forgotten that someone sat it down right there. It felt like a nice, firm butt-pillow, so I didn't really think anything of it.

"Okay, now what?" I turned and looked down at my jeans, "Aw man, there's baby powder all over my pants!"

"Boomer you dumbass! You've busted the bag! There's drugs all over the living room, now!" Butch yanked on his hair in horror. Brick began pacing back and forth out of sheer disbelief.

"Okay, okay. Everyone **_calm down._** Just pick it up from the bottom, get it off of our rug, and go set it down on the kitchen island, or something," Blossom instructed between deep breaths.

"I have this," I opted, picking up the bag on the edges alongside the tear. "Wow, this is a lot of snow."

"Did you just figure that out?" Brick snarled.

"Why is it that you've been like, a mega-dolt recently? I mean, you've always been a bit of a dummy, but lately you've just been completely off the rocker," Butch meandered.

"Will you guys just shut up? I'm trying to focus on not dropping this stuff!" I stared into the stash. "Man, how much do you think this stuff is worth?"

"Eh, probably between fifteen or twenty-"

"**_Really?_** That's not very much. I thought it would be **_way_** pricier!"

"-thousand." I froze up when I heard that and the sack accidentally slipped out of my fingers and splattered all over the tile kitchen floor, generating a giant plume of coke smoke, which whooshed up all over me right as I happened to inhale.

"Uuh, boy. I blew it, didn't I?" I wheezed and knelt down to scoop it up off the floor in my hands.

"Oh, damn right you did!"

"**_Boomer, what have you done?_**" Bubbles shrieked. Buttercup flew into the room to help me get the stuff off of the floor.

"Here, help me get it onto the counter, dunderhead," Buttercup instructed. I did exactly as she told. "That's it, you've got almost everything. Bubbles, go gimme a bathroom scale. We're gonna find out just how much this coke is really worth." Man, looks like we got ourselves a little Heisenberg here!

"Alright, well, while you two get illegal substances off of our floor, Brick and I will go see and try to negotiate with whoever was trying to deal this stuff; let them know what happened," Blossom chimed.

"What was that, honey? I didn't exactly catch that," Brick asked, concerned.

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**There we go, second chapter has been posted! It is kind of short, but I hope you enjoyed it anyway, and I know that it was very intriguing to write.**

**In other news, my honeymoon poll on the profile is still available for voting in, so do vote if you have not, because it could change the very course of the story. Remember: _Your vote matters!_**


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